What is Love? Baby don't hurt me (what true Love really, truly, is)
When I was trying to figure out what my first #rawtalk blog post should be about, it didn’t take long to smack me in the face. There’s one thing that everyone seems to be searching for in this life: love. And in essence, that’s what this section will be all about. Love, and the search for it. But no one seems to have any idea of what love actually is… right?
The first thing I found when I googled ‘What is love?’ was this guy:
Even though this song came out before I was born, it still manages to get stuck in my head more often than I’d care to admit. I want to blame the terrible radio stations my parents listened to when I was little, but it was probably that Moove Milk ad of those guys singing to the girl in the surf shop that set it in concrete in my mind. That, and the fact that it’s just unbelievably catchy.
But this song is kind of confusing. To immediately follow the phrase ‘What is love?’ with ‘Baby, don’t hurt me’ paints a picture of a love that’s not so great. It gives the impression that love and being hurt go hand in hand. So I looked to the rest of the internet to find out what the world thinks love is, and this is what I found:
Let’s work our way through these, shall we?
We all know how it worked out for Anna and Hans. Their mental synchronisation had a different explanation, in the end, and what Anna thought was love was really just a great song. Apparently finishing each other’s sandwiches isn’t an indication of love after all. Both of them got caught up in their feelings, in the moment, and in Hans’ charm, but when it came down to it, Hans didn’t truly love Anna. What I love about Frozen though, is that it shows a truer understanding of real love than any Disney movie to date, bafflingly brilliant as they are. The ultimate expression of love in the end was Anna’s self-sacrificing act for her sister. But more on that later.
I looked up the lyrics for ‘Love Is In The Air’, and found them kind of interesting:
‘And I don't know if I'm being foolish
Don't know if I'm being wise
But it's something that I must believe in
And it's there when I look in your eyes’
I mean, what is that all about? It’s as if love is something that he has no control over, and is just caught up in, like hay fever or something. I mean feelings are important, sure, but feelings fade. I think I’d prefer it if someone chose to love me, and made a decision about that.
And then there’s the 80s. Oh, the 80s. The clothes, the music, the dance moves, the mullets. If there’s one thing the 80s got right, it’s that love is, actually, a battlefield. To love truly, and to love well, is a constant challenge to put someone else’s needs, wants and feelings above our own, and that is not a battle to be underestimated. It is a daily fight, against every selfish desire and inclination, to put someone else first. Because that’s what love is really all about: self-sacrifice for the good of the beloved. That’s the kind of love that we truly long for. I long for the kind of love that gives of itself for me. And the best and fullest manifestation of it looks like this:
‘Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.’ – John 15:13.
That is the greatest love. The truest love. The love we’re all searching for. And any human relationship that aims at true love should be modelled on that love, be it friendship, brotherly/sisterly love (like Elsa and Anna), or romantic relationships. True love looks like a man on a Cross – given freely, fully, faithfully and fruitfully, for the sake of His bride.